Can I just say how RUDE I think it is when I am talking to someone, and their significant other stares off into space with a look of utter boredom on their face, as if they are barely tolerating the inconvenience?!
More than once recently, I have seen an old friend with their girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife who I don't particularly know. Rather than that person making eye-contact, or listening, or even--gasp--participating in the conversation, they hang on the arm of their other half, and watch the grocery checker ring up customers, instead of talking to me. It's as if they say to themselves, "Oh, it's Schnookem's friend, nobody important, not one of my friends, I guess I'll just have to stand here and wait until they stop talking, I do wish they'd hurry it up." How ungracious is that? In fact, I consider it a sign that my friend is dating/married to an idiot. An immature idiot who is grossly lacking in social graces. By contrast, I'm always delighted to discover a friend whose significant other is friendly and engaging.
Call me old-fashioned, but I actually want to get to know the friends and family of those who I date. Odd, huh? I have really appreciated the in-laws in my family who make an effort to have a relationship with me and find out a little bit about what's going on in my life. The in-laws who are not very friendly are sort of metaphorical drains rather than fountains at family functions. And they too have that expression of detachment, and seem to tug at the sleeves of their spouse, as if to say "Can we pleeease go yet?" They don't seem to have very much fun, and they aren't much fun to be around, which is a pity, because it doesn't have to be that way.
So there you have it! If your honey passes the "I am polite/not self-absorbed enough to converse with my sweetie's friends, family, and acquaintances" test, it doesn't guarantee that you're not dating an unmannered egotist, but if they fail the test, at least I think it's a pretty good indicator that they might be...
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2 comments:
You aren't referring to me I hope... or my hubby? I am just kidding. It is sad that people are like that sometimes. It is hard to talk with people you don't know, I admit, but if they are friends of a friend, then chances are they are pretty cool... unless you don't like that friend to begin with. But as spouses or significant others seem to like the person they are with... there seems to be no excuse there.
Heavens no! You are definitely one of the friendliest, nicest couples I know!
I've just been noticing this more and more and I think it's crazy! I can understand being shy around people you don't know, but you could at least pretend to listen. I just feel really awkward when the significant other of a friend seems to be totally disinterested in the conversation I am having with my friend.
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