Funeral for a Fish/ How to Not Be Eaten By a Leopard

Little Paula was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Paula?" "My goldfish died," replied Paula tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "I am so sorry for your loss but that seems to be an awfully big hole for a little tiny goldfish, isn't it?" Paula nicely patted down the last heap of earth on the grave and then replied, "That's because he's inside your horrible cat."


A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in trouble now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that blasted monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Blog Entry Praises Church Welfare Program

Yeah! I'm always happy when I read positive things being said about the LDS Church. I found the following on Dr. Laura's Blog:

Blessings in Disguise

December 18, 2008 on 8:00 am | In Charity, Economy, Marriage, Mormons, Relationships, Values Email This Post

"I have always been impressed with the mentality of the Mormons with respect to the issue of charity. I had a tour of their main charity facilities, and was amazed at what I saw and learned. There are absolutely no handouts – they barter!

Here’s how it works: if you could lose your home, or if you need food, clothing, medicine or toys for your children, the Church takes financial care of your needs. In exchange, you provide services to the very mechanism that rescued you. This means that folks in the bakeries are people who have benefited from the charitable services; those helping in the stores that sell thrift clothing, housewares and food are those who have benefited from the charitable services, and so on.

The basic concept is to preserve a sense of dignity and pride in those who have temporary need by giving them an opportunity to use their skills in the service of others. Walking around the premises, I felt the uplifted attitude of all who were there: smiles, waves, and straight backs.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints provides for people all over the world – not only with goods and goodwill, but with the opportunity to not lose a sense of self when “things” are lost.

I probably sound like an advertisement for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am not a member of their religion, but I am impressed with their charitable philosophy, because I believe it teaches our children their real value, while motivating and uplifting them at the same time.

Their young people who graduate high school are expected to go on two-year “missions,” reminiscent of the Peace Corps. These young people come back much more mature, as they’ve experienced the pain and need of others, and have sacrificed two years of their own comfort to be of service to others.
Other youngsters just don’t want to skip a beat in their acquisition of iPods, cell phones, and other “Internet in your hand” gadgets.

I believe that the economic disaster our country is in right now is a kind of blessing in disguise with respect to values. Without values, life just provides us with “things,” but not necessarily with any profound meaning."